What is the secret to success for a couple who chose to “marry again”?

A few nights ago I stayed up beyond my usual bedtime, channel surfing. The reason for my late night hours, I actually HAD the remote! Typically the remote is in my husband’s actively channel changing hands. The show that finally caught my attention was a recent creation about second wives. I watched as the lead actress waged war with her new husband’s adult children, and his gorgeous ex-wife; a wife whose latest love had left her. In light of her now single status she was finding her former husband very appealing. Her actions towards him, and the underlying nastiness against his new wife was creating havoc. The situation was a reminder of the nine couple interviews that I did for my book, Successful Second Marriages. How did these second timers overcome similar obstacles and find success in their remarriages. One secret does not give “the” answer. There is more than one secret(and they aren’t secrets, rather examples). A good plan of action is to carve out time for each other, from the very beginning of the relationship. Maybe it is simply taking a walk together, having a latte in a coffee shop or taking a drive. Keep the world at bay, and carve out time to be a “couple”, enjoying the pleasure of each other.

Second Marriages- hard work, but worth the effort.

Having been one who contributed to the high percentages attributed to failed second marriages, I am awed by those who “make” it Now, the opinions on what determines “make” it would vary, but for my purposes it was seven years and counting. This number was chosen from the movie, Seven Year Itch. It seems that seventh year is the year, when people become dissatisfied, disenchanted, unhappy with their marital state- assessing the possibilities of a different relationship begins to rear its head. So, for my premise, if remarried couples had made it past this tenuous seventh year, there was a better chance for lasting success. No statistical logic, no higher mathematics, just this cliche. Of the nine couples that I interviewed for my book, Successful Second Marriages I found each couple varied in their ways of communication. All did agree on one subject, this time the marriage had to work. Divorce was too painful to go through again. I could second that! and I did. pbubash www.successfulsecondmarriages.com

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